2/23/15
I'm taking a break from writing a paper for abnormal psychology. As part of my research method, I've been listening to Nirvana (the paper is on Kurt Cobain and his struggle with mood disorders). This led me to listen to other bands from waaaaaaay back when, including The Cranberries, Savage Garden, and The Kinks, among others.
I'm currently listening to "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden. It's interesting that a song I considered to be one of the most beautiful love songs ever written has been replaced by things like "Turning Page" by Sleeping at Last and "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker. It made me think of how we evolve as we grow older and experience more and more. What my parents refer to as "bubblegum" music is great when you're a preteen and don't have a clue what deep, life-changing emotions (such as real love) are. Then you grow up and understand that love is more than butterflies in your stomach, more than holding hands and kissing. Sometimes, it's two broken souls hashing out a life together.
Sometimes, you feel drawn to darker music. I've had more people than I care to count tell me that I have a dark side, and it's expressed in the music I listen to and the films I enjoy. I'm a big fan of almost everything Tim Burton, and I listen to music that can express my pain better than I can. Bands like Hinder, Evanescence, Radiohead, and Nirvana have helped me when I couldn't quite put my feelings to words. Even just the music, not necessarily the lyrics, can be incredibly cathartic.
After my brother died, I found myself losing myself in music at every opportunity. It was the way I could escape, and it is the way I let go of everything I keep pent up.
In closing...Kurt Cobain was an amazing musician. He put his heart and soul into his songs, and they were full of pain and beauty. Wow. His loss was a tragedy on every level.
Namarie once more, compadres.
~K~
Monday, February 23, 2015
Free Writing post 20
2/23/15
I missed posting yesterday. I just had so many other things to do, and time got away from me. Oh well.
"Then something Tookish woke up inside him, and he wished to go and see the great mountains, and hear the pine-trees and the waterfalls, and explore the caves, and wear a sword instead of a walking stick. He looked out of the window. The stars were out in a dark sky above the trees. He thought of the jewels of the dwarves shining in dark caverns. Suddenly in the wood beyond The Water a flame leapt up-- probably somebody lighting a wood-fire-- and he thought of plundering dragons settling on his quiet Hill and kindling it all to flames. He shuddered; and very quickly he was plain Mr. Baggins of Bag-End, Under-Hill, again."
This is one of the most inspiring parts of the book The Hobbit, at least for me. I have "Something Tookish" tattooed on my wrist to remind me of my drive to go on an adventure. I've always been a homebody, not interested in adventures or anything like that. Now that I'm approaching thirty, I kind of want to get out there and see some things. Good things. I've seen enough bad things to last me a lifetime. I want to go to London, to New Zealand, back to Colorado...I want to walk on roads where Tolkien and Austen walked, where the cast of the Lord of the Rings movies walked...I want to put on my elf ears and pretend I'm walking through Lothlorien.
That trip will be my grand adventure. I may even buy a walking stick (because swords aren't allowed on planes!).
Go on an adventure.
~Namarie~
I missed posting yesterday. I just had so many other things to do, and time got away from me. Oh well.
"Then something Tookish woke up inside him, and he wished to go and see the great mountains, and hear the pine-trees and the waterfalls, and explore the caves, and wear a sword instead of a walking stick. He looked out of the window. The stars were out in a dark sky above the trees. He thought of the jewels of the dwarves shining in dark caverns. Suddenly in the wood beyond The Water a flame leapt up-- probably somebody lighting a wood-fire-- and he thought of plundering dragons settling on his quiet Hill and kindling it all to flames. He shuddered; and very quickly he was plain Mr. Baggins of Bag-End, Under-Hill, again."
This is one of the most inspiring parts of the book The Hobbit, at least for me. I have "Something Tookish" tattooed on my wrist to remind me of my drive to go on an adventure. I've always been a homebody, not interested in adventures or anything like that. Now that I'm approaching thirty, I kind of want to get out there and see some things. Good things. I've seen enough bad things to last me a lifetime. I want to go to London, to New Zealand, back to Colorado...I want to walk on roads where Tolkien and Austen walked, where the cast of the Lord of the Rings movies walked...I want to put on my elf ears and pretend I'm walking through Lothlorien.
That trip will be my grand adventure. I may even buy a walking stick (because swords aren't allowed on planes!).
Go on an adventure.
~Namarie~
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Free Writing Day 19
2/21/15
We are watching the Svengoolie show, and he is featuring the film "Monolith Monsters". As I'm watching it, I realize that all the modern day movies wouldn't be possible without these "cheesy" early flicks from the forties and fifties. Everything requires the past to build upon.
The movie "Tron" was amazingly advanced for its day. Without it, we probably wouldn't have the incredible CGI we experience today. The same could be said of music and books as well. If it weren't for earlier bands like The Beatles and The Stones, many of the modern rock bands wouldn't exist. Without Tolkien, it's possible that George R.R. Martin and David Eddings wouldn't have been inspired to write their amazing series.
I wonder how much this can be transferred to our everyday lives. If we don't build on our past, nothing new will ever happen. If we don't take the inspiration of others and make it our own, we're just going through the motions of life.
I take a lot from women like Susan B. Anthony and Cleopatra. I know that Cleo is frowned upon by a lot of people, but she took power and used it to every advantage. She didn't allow the fact that she was a female to hold her back. I choose to view that as inspiration. I'm not going to be held back because of my gender. Like Susan, I'm going to push the boundaries that still exist for women, and I'm going to see if I can make them change. Not by myself, of course...I'm hoping that others will be just as inspired as I am.
The reading from our class called "It Takes Practice" just popped into my mind while I was typing. If we want to truly bring about change, it takes practice. We can't make it happen in an instant. We have to live our lives in the practice of change. We have to practice making our viewpoints heard, we have to practice making them sound valid to others.
We have to learn from the past and practice its principles.
Namarie, Practitioners
~K~
We are watching the Svengoolie show, and he is featuring the film "Monolith Monsters". As I'm watching it, I realize that all the modern day movies wouldn't be possible without these "cheesy" early flicks from the forties and fifties. Everything requires the past to build upon.
The movie "Tron" was amazingly advanced for its day. Without it, we probably wouldn't have the incredible CGI we experience today. The same could be said of music and books as well. If it weren't for earlier bands like The Beatles and The Stones, many of the modern rock bands wouldn't exist. Without Tolkien, it's possible that George R.R. Martin and David Eddings wouldn't have been inspired to write their amazing series.
I wonder how much this can be transferred to our everyday lives. If we don't build on our past, nothing new will ever happen. If we don't take the inspiration of others and make it our own, we're just going through the motions of life.
I take a lot from women like Susan B. Anthony and Cleopatra. I know that Cleo is frowned upon by a lot of people, but she took power and used it to every advantage. She didn't allow the fact that she was a female to hold her back. I choose to view that as inspiration. I'm not going to be held back because of my gender. Like Susan, I'm going to push the boundaries that still exist for women, and I'm going to see if I can make them change. Not by myself, of course...I'm hoping that others will be just as inspired as I am.
The reading from our class called "It Takes Practice" just popped into my mind while I was typing. If we want to truly bring about change, it takes practice. We can't make it happen in an instant. We have to live our lives in the practice of change. We have to practice making our viewpoints heard, we have to practice making them sound valid to others.
We have to learn from the past and practice its principles.
Namarie, Practitioners
~K~
Friday, February 20, 2015
Free Writing Day 17
2/20/15
Why do the short work weeks always seem longer? I only had to work two days this week, due to the holiday and snow days, but I am sitting here, utterly exhausted. I'm not sure why. I can't focus to save me, and I have two tests this weekend, plus more reading than I know how to tackle.
This too shall pass.
My post tonight is going to be short, because (quite frankly), I am swamped with work, and need to devote my time to other things.. I hope you all stay safe and warm as the next batch of weather moves in.
Namarie.
~K~
Why do the short work weeks always seem longer? I only had to work two days this week, due to the holiday and snow days, but I am sitting here, utterly exhausted. I'm not sure why. I can't focus to save me, and I have two tests this weekend, plus more reading than I know how to tackle.
This too shall pass.
My post tonight is going to be short, because (quite frankly), I am swamped with work, and need to devote my time to other things.. I hope you all stay safe and warm as the next batch of weather moves in.
Namarie.
~K~
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Free Writing Day 16
2/19/15
I am so angry right now. I just feel like commitment and loyalty don't mean anything anymore. I have friends who are going through divorces, cheating spouses, and bad breakups. They're being used and abused, as am I, and it just makes me want to scream.
Didn't we all learn in grade school that being honest was important? Didn't we learn that to be a good friend meant thinking about the other person's feelings as well as your own, sometimes even putting them ahead of your own?
I get that a lifelong commitment to another human being is tough. It's why I haven't accepted or really been interested in any offers. I will NOT rush into marriage, because I take those vows really seriously. If you're not happy, try your hardest to work it out. I'm not talking about physical or emotional abuse. No one should put up with that. If you're unhappy, try counseling. Try talking. Try listening.
Don't cheat on your significant other. At all. Emotionally or physically. Just don't. Give them a clean break. Don't sully the bond between you by dragging someone else into something so intimate as a marriage. JUST DON'T.
I'm sorry if this post sounds harsh, or if you're thinking, "Oh, she's single, she doesn't know." Maybe I don't...but being honest and holding to vows you make seems like a big deal...something everyone should at least TRY to do.
Namarie,
~K~
I am so angry right now. I just feel like commitment and loyalty don't mean anything anymore. I have friends who are going through divorces, cheating spouses, and bad breakups. They're being used and abused, as am I, and it just makes me want to scream.
Didn't we all learn in grade school that being honest was important? Didn't we learn that to be a good friend meant thinking about the other person's feelings as well as your own, sometimes even putting them ahead of your own?
I get that a lifelong commitment to another human being is tough. It's why I haven't accepted or really been interested in any offers. I will NOT rush into marriage, because I take those vows really seriously. If you're not happy, try your hardest to work it out. I'm not talking about physical or emotional abuse. No one should put up with that. If you're unhappy, try counseling. Try talking. Try listening.
Don't cheat on your significant other. At all. Emotionally or physically. Just don't. Give them a clean break. Don't sully the bond between you by dragging someone else into something so intimate as a marriage. JUST DON'T.
I'm sorry if this post sounds harsh, or if you're thinking, "Oh, she's single, she doesn't know." Maybe I don't...but being honest and holding to vows you make seems like a big deal...something everyone should at least TRY to do.
Namarie,
~K~
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Free Writing Day 15
"Buffy" and Another Snow Day
2/18/15
I'm sitting here, huddled under a blanket while watching episodes of "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer" with my Mom. I am incredibly grateful for the additional snow day...I've been working on homework all morning, and have most of my assignments for this week and some for next completed. After lunch, I think I'll start catching up on my readings for my classes. With the work load we've had this semester, I've fallen behind, only able to read what I need for quizzes and assignments. I hate learning like that. I want to read the entire chapter and take notes!
I would love to have a snow week, in a way. I know Spring Break is right around the corner, but time off to rest and catch up is always nice.
I used to watch Buffy every morning before school during high school. I'm not sure why, because it's cheesy as all get out, but I absolutely love it. Between Spike and Xander's quippy hatred of one another, and Buffy's adorable one liners...it's awesome.
We're watching the episode where Giles gets turned into a demon. I have to say...I've always been Team Riley. I know everyone's all "gaga" over Angel, but I think Riley was the best choice for her. Spike was a close second. A human guy who could keep up with her intellectually and physically, plus someone who could understand her hidden life. She would never be happy with a "nice normal guy", and she couldn't ever truly reconcile being with a vampire, either.
I think it's time for some hot chocolate and mini pretzels.
Namarie.
~K~
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Free Writing Day 14
Loki vs. Thor
2/17/15
I am a huge fan of the Marvel movies. I've watched "The Avengers" and the "Thor" movies more times than I can count. That being said, I got into a conversation not that long ago about who was better, Thor or Loki. I was adamant that Loki was the better person, and they were just as convinced that Thor took that title.
Characters like Loki are often viewed as jerks, and ultimate evil. I disagree. As a student of psychology, I enjoy taking a character apart, analyzing them and their motives.
While it's true that Thor is the extreme good, this does nothing for me. He's too altruistic. Everything he does from a certain point on are for the good of others. There's no real brokenness in him. Loki, on the other hand, is a shattered individual. I subscribe to the psychodynamic model of abnormal psychology, which states that all of our abnormal behaviors can be explained by events that happened in our pasts.
So, from a scientific viewpoint, let's analyze Loki. He was taken from his home as an infant, and adopted by the royal family of Asgard. He grew up in the shadow of the "golden child", the child that everyone adored. He was (more than likely) shoved to the side to make way for Thor and his accomplishments. He spent his whole childhood and adolescence trying to prove himself, but to no avail. He learns of his true parentage, and realizes that he is, essentially, a monster.
What would this cause in a person? For starters, it would certainly explain his devious and deceptive nature. When you spend your life pretending you're ok, and that you're happy for yourself and those around you, you learn to lie well. Even his attempts to gain power were just the result of that orphaned boy trying to prove himself to those who rarely noticed him.
I guess, if I could sum it up, I would say that I am more drawn to people and characters who are damaged. Abnormal psychology, even in its mildest form, is fascinating, and it helps me connect better with them.
Plus, how could you deny that this man is drop-dead gorgeous? AND HE READS VORACIOUSLY! ;D
Alright, enough nerding out for one night.
Namarie, Asgardians.
2/17/15
I am a huge fan of the Marvel movies. I've watched "The Avengers" and the "Thor" movies more times than I can count. That being said, I got into a conversation not that long ago about who was better, Thor or Loki. I was adamant that Loki was the better person, and they were just as convinced that Thor took that title.
Characters like Loki are often viewed as jerks, and ultimate evil. I disagree. As a student of psychology, I enjoy taking a character apart, analyzing them and their motives.
While it's true that Thor is the extreme good, this does nothing for me. He's too altruistic. Everything he does from a certain point on are for the good of others. There's no real brokenness in him. Loki, on the other hand, is a shattered individual. I subscribe to the psychodynamic model of abnormal psychology, which states that all of our abnormal behaviors can be explained by events that happened in our pasts.
So, from a scientific viewpoint, let's analyze Loki. He was taken from his home as an infant, and adopted by the royal family of Asgard. He grew up in the shadow of the "golden child", the child that everyone adored. He was (more than likely) shoved to the side to make way for Thor and his accomplishments. He spent his whole childhood and adolescence trying to prove himself, but to no avail. He learns of his true parentage, and realizes that he is, essentially, a monster.
What would this cause in a person? For starters, it would certainly explain his devious and deceptive nature. When you spend your life pretending you're ok, and that you're happy for yourself and those around you, you learn to lie well. Even his attempts to gain power were just the result of that orphaned boy trying to prove himself to those who rarely noticed him.
I guess, if I could sum it up, I would say that I am more drawn to people and characters who are damaged. Abnormal psychology, even in its mildest form, is fascinating, and it helps me connect better with them.
Plus, how could you deny that this man is drop-dead gorgeous? AND HE READS VORACIOUSLY! ;D
Namarie, Asgardians.
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