Freewriting Day 1

2/4/15

I was really struck by a line from my choice for the “This I Believe” essay ("God is the Father of All Men") about doing things you love. I believe that doing things you love is incredibly important, and I don’t think most of us do it enough. We need to be aware of how much things we don’t love can drag us down and crush our creative souls. I know for me personally, working under another person, not being the one who can utilize their ideas and implement changes can be very frustrating. I reached the point a couple of years ago where I refused to offer any ideas for crafts, lessons, whatever, because I got tired of them being rejected due to the fact that I was “just the para”. I can’t wait until I have my own classroom, and can let my creative flag fly. I know that not everything will work, nor will it be feasible, but just to have the freedom to try, to be able to spread my wings and do what I love…that will be wonderful.

I love my family. I love them more than I can possibly describe in words. I do whatever I can for them, every single day. I know what it’s like when someone you cherish is ripped away from you, and I know what it’s like to feel like you failed, that you didn’t do enough for them. I know what it’s like to feel like you didn’t show them enough of that spirit of love. So my philosophy became this: Everything you do, do it in love, if possible. I do things for my parents because I love doing them, I love being able to help them and provide for them, just like they have all these years.

I love reading. I am a total bookworm. I walk into Barnes and Noble and feel right at home. I buy books because I love them. I read books from any and every genre, because I love them. I love reading, I love being transported to new places, I love reading history and learning new things. I am always in the middle of a book, because it is something I love.

I love to write. Why? Because I can express myself. I can let the things that inspire me, be it a book or a movie, drive me to create characters, to create worlds, to escape from reality. I can sit down with a notebook and a pen and write for hours on end, because it is something I love to do.

Learning. Sometimes I question why I want to earn as many degrees as I do, and then I remember. I love to learn. I love to read through a textbook and have my mind enhanced. I love to be able to discuss the things I’ve learned with family, friends, coworkers, whomever. I love the feeling of knowledge…I feel like I’m not quite as in the dark as I was before I took the class, read the book, etc. I suffer from extremely low self-esteem when it comes to my mind, and taking classes helps me feel more confident. I also love how it is impossible to learn everything. Even in a chosen field, things are constantly being revamped. Technologies evolve, theories change, and countries divide. I’ll never know everything, and that’s exciting. I will be able to learn my entire life, and that thought makes me happy.

I love working with kids. It’s why I went into education. I love seeing the lightbulb come on after working with a kid on something for weeks. I love when they own what you’ve taught them, and want to ask questions that take them deeper into the subject. I love the way my brain is engaged when I’m helping a kid to learn. “The Miracle Worker” is probably one of the most inspiring books and movies I’ve ever read. The moment when Helen Keller realizes that the finger spellings mean something, that things have a name…I cry every time I see/read it. I want to be Annie Sullivan when I become a teacher.

I love music. I should have never dropped out of my orchestral studies. Music touches my soul, and I love to play and listen to it. I should play my viola more, because it is something I love. When I play my viola, I feel alive. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s true. As my fingers fly up and down the strings, the world melts away, and (again, cheesy) my heart sings with my instrument.

I’m going to make 2015 the year to find more things that I love. I’m going to do things that fill my heart with joy, because I can.